You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
