This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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