you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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