i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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