PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
