Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
