We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
