Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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