I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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