im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
