we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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