Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
