I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fuck appropriateness.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am one with the molecules
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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