chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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