He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
how does that bad decision feel?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
