She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
