Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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