I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
