ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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