well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
