i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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