we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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