I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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