This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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