i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
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This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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