i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
