I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my poor anus
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
