where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
