OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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