Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
