I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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