He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
