she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
