Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Couch. On fire.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
