HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What a dumb baby whore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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