New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
