The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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