I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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