I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
