Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
