would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
