I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
