In the future we'll all be gay
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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