You work out of a Hotel?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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