you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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