Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
