just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
