Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
