OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
