Sry I called you an 8
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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