too bad you live with your parents still
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
