I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why do cheetos always look like penises
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
