need another drink. this is the easiest way
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
