I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
