I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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