The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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