do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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