You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the day after is always just damage control
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
