Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
