you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
