last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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