get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am mentally ready for anal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
