I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
