is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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