good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
