Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
