Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
