I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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