well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
