I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
