I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
