You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
